I hesitate to write about God as I understand him because I spent so many years preaching to others what I was told they ought to believe. I perceived the God at the Kingdom Hall as mean, judgmental and unloving (if you were unhappy, he didn’t love you because you weren’t doing enough for him and I was quite unhappy so he must not love me). That is not who I understand God to be today. I’ve gotten through some pretty impossible circumstances realitively unscathed. I could say I was lucky or I could thank God. I choose to thank God.
Scripture is a part of who I am. My dad talked in scripture… most of the time. As I’ve gotten older and healthier, they have more meaning. I am grateful for the mental discipline and work ethic passed on to me. I wish every soul free to be genuine and Jesus was as genuine, against the social norms, as they come!
I wish not to pound anyone down with my opinions but I do wish to fan the flame of passion within in each one of us. I have been so encouraged by other women I see taking a stand for who they are. Not to become like men, but to embrace their womanhood fully and completely.
I’ve come to realize that individuals come and go. They make other friends, they enjoy things I don’t. It doesn’t mean I’m not good enough, it just means they went away for a while and I’m free to pursue my desires without their influence for a bit. The people who truly love me have always come back eventually.
When I recognize myself feeling lonely, it helps me to work on opening my heart to new people instead of mourning that someone wasn’t who I thought they “should” be. In letting go, more has come my way that I ever would have been able to secure searching for it.
So eternally grateful…..
Thanks for reading.