Agree to Disagree

I’ve heard the phrase “agree to disagree” for as long as I can remember.  Until fairly recently, I viewed that phrase as one used by the “loser” of any argument to console himself/herself for having inferior debating skills.  That was the white flag of an argument when the weaker one was unable to win and wanted out of the conversation.

I see it differently now…

Each person is unique in that each of us has our own experiences, feelings and opinions that shape how we perceive the world around us.  At the same time, all of our blood turns red when it hits air and is blue when without oxygen.  We are concurrently the same and nothing like all our fellow humans.

It is impossible for more than one person to see the world exactly the same all of the time unless someone is not being honest with himself/herself.  Disagreements are not the end of a relationship or the sign of a weak one.  They are just different interpretations of the same subject.

My husband and I struggle to “fight” because each of us does not want to upset the other.  It’s nice for a while but, eventually, we’re not being honest.  Without honesty, trust and true love wither to death.  We are practicing this concept of “agree to disagree” by not seeing  one way as “right” and the other as “wrong”.  With this understanding, we’re able to connect and accept each other more fully without sacrificing our self worth or suppressing our feelings.

Instead of one way being “right” and the other “wrong”, we talk about what we each need.  We ask for what we want the other person to do or not do.  The other person has the right to agree or disagree to terms.  “I felt xyz” does not mean he did something wrong.  Just because “concept a” is inaccurate, doesn’t mean that “concept b” is true.  I accept he sees things differently without telling myself there’s something wrong with either of us.

We each have “deal breakers”, it’s not like anything goes.  We didn’t get married until we determined our “deal breakers” were compatible.

It’s wonderful!  Not easy, but wonderful…

From my heart to yours,

Thanks for reading

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Jumping Fleas

A few weeks ago, my Saturday morning group run started with a story I’ve been thinking about since I heard it.  I wanted to share it with all of you:

An experiment was once done using a handful of fleas and a glass jar.  The researcher placed several fleas in the container and they quickly, easily jumped out.  This was repeated numerous times and each time yielded the same result.

Then, a lid was put on the jar.  The fleas kept hitting the top until, eventually, they started jumping as high as they could without hitting the lid.

When the researcher removed the lid, they didn’t jump high enough to get out of the jar as if there was still something blocking their way.

Curious, the researcher heated up the bottom of the jar.

Now that staying in the jar was unbearable, they jumped out.

The fleas had not lost their ability to jump out of the jar when the lid was put on but when the obstacle was removed, they behaved as if there was no other option.

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There are many, many reasons this story speaks to me but here are a few I find most moving:

  1. In order to change, where you are needs to be more uncomfortable than the discomfort of changing.
  2. It doesn’t matter if something is really there or not.  If it’s perceived to be there, it’s as real as anything!
  3. Fleas suck. Blood. Literally. But they can jump 100x their own height (world’s 2nd most powerful jumper).  If even annoying pests have something they are good at, so do you! If you don’t know what it is, don’t give up looking until you’ve found it!

For more of this story and other inspirational stuff, see Nick’s blog at  http://thinklikeyour6.blogspot.com/
From my heart to yours,
Thanks for reading