Trying to build a romance with unresolved conflict is like running the heater and air conditioner at the same time. A lot of energy is used and it’s never quite right. On the flip side, partnering with someone who’s willing and able to work on the little things has lead me to the most intense romance of my life.
I believe that what truly makes a relationship work is the willingness of each person to own their feelings and work through conflict. Both in my life and the lives of my friends, I’ve observed unresolved conflicts building resentment and eventually leading to breakups. The couples that stayed together, worked through conflicts and responded to each other differently than the ones that broke apart. Each person has to be honest with themselves and open to hearing whatever the other person has to say as long as it’s shared in a respectful manner.
The relationships I want are comprised of individuals who are practicing self-care and working on being self-aware. To me, that’s the recipe for a lasting, fulfilling romance as well. If people put someone else ahead of what they need to be well, eventually it causes problems. Little things add up to be the big things. If potential issues can be identified when they are small, they can easily be turned around and disaster prevented.
As I have learned what I need and how to get those needs met myself, without depending on any one person, I’ve noticed that people with similar intentions are attracted to me. Those with different priorities fade away (we interact on only a surface level). Initially, this rejection is painful but it is better than trying to force a relationship into something it’s not.
I have sought deep, meaningful relationships my entire life but this year, something magical happened. I found what I was looking for! I found not just one person but a tribe of people who aren’t afraid to connect at the heart level. It’s a dream come true!
I am grateful for all the relationships that didn’t work out because they left room for something more meaningful to appear.
From my heart to yours
Thanks for reading