It is impossible to make someone else feel as if they belong. The best one can do is provide an environment where it is safe to accept one’s self, where it safe to have the full gamut of feelings, and model how it’s done. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance (Brene Brown in “Daring Greatly…”) .
Louise Hay, Brene Brown and many others have expressed the same concept of being ‘hard wired for love and connection’ using slightly different words. We do not have to earn the right to breathe and we do not have to earn the right to be loved. Both are necessary for our survival and they are our birthright. I truly believe at the core of all dysfunctional relationship issues in the world is a lack of self acceptance with one or both parties.
At this moment of life, I feel the most loved, appreciated and in sync with the world I have ever felt. Last weekend, I finished writing a song with a friend and was part of making music with some very talented musicians all evening. I had more than one moment of “Wow! I am SO GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE!”. My band mates tell me my enthusiasm is infectious and I tell them they make it possible!
My home is coming together. My work is coming together. The relationship with my soon to be ex husband is better than I could imagine. My son is getting his life figured out. There is even hope of mending estrangement with my birth family. Every single thing on that list has been a HUGE stressor over the years. I worried about every single item because I couldn’t see how I could make it work out.
But I started living in a new way. I started believing the best is coming to me. I started believing the world is a loving supportive place and I belong in it just as I am. I started believing I have a purpose as me in this world. I started letting go of other people’s perceptions of me so I could be myself all the way.
I gave myself permission to daydream. I allowed myself to imagine an existence where all my relationships are supportive, I live in a beautiful, cozy place surrounded by trees and have access to all I need to live comfortably with enough to share. I set the intention to trust spirit, love myself, do the next right thing and embrace the process.
It’s happening, folks! And it’s not because I “made” it happen. It’s because I have been working on releasing the blocks I put up to protect myself but instead kept good out. It’s because the world is full of loving, supportive people when I believe it is! It’s because the universe conspires in my favor when I believe it does! It’s because I accept who I am in this moment, knowing mistakes are part of learning.
I am grateful for the people in my life who don’t approve of me because they have taught me about true compassion. When surrounded by people who agree, it’s not nearly as easy to work on my shadow side as when I encounter contrary people. We are all characters in the play of life. Every person has a role and everyone can choose how to portray themselves. None of us are the director of all but we each get to write our own character’s story.
May we all remember as long as there is breath, there is love and there are choices.
From my heart to yours,
Thanks for reading