It’s Not About ‘Having it all together’

I have been thinking a lot lately about the statement, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”.  That statement tells me a student’s progress isn’t just about how good the teacher is. It’s not solely about the potential of the student either.

The alignment between the two determines progress.  Both must be in complimentary places.  Teachers come in all shapes and forms.  Some of my best teachers have been the worst examples.

Within a month’s time, I have experienced elation at being exactly on the right path doing the right things with the right people.  I have also experienced feelings of failure and unworthiness that made me question my abilities.  That dichotomy has been a historical pattern for me thus far.

I’ve had enough intimate conversations and read enough to know I am not alone in this.  However, I don’t always understand how to embrace it.  I have been told one needs to embrace the shadow (negative/dark) part of one’s self in order to be healthy.  I know that the more I try to suppress it, the stronger it seems to get but that doesn’t keep me from sometimes wanting it to just go away.  My mode of operation, if I’m not paying attention, is to put my head down, muscle through and tell myself “I just have to get through this…”.  I forget I have choices…

A wise friend and mentor reminded me yesterday that I choose my actions and I choose my thoughts about my actions.  I knew that but I forgot.  Yes, there are times when doing something unpleasant is necessary to reach a goal but if I lose sight of my intentions because I am only telling myself “I have to get through this…”, I bring much unnecessary unpleasantness upon myself.  I lose sight of my purpose and I start to cry unhappy tears.

It is imperative for me to stay tuned in to spirit.  This means I need quiet time to myself, in a big enough chunk, my mind can settle from the endless task list that sometimes rattles around my brain.  This means I choose to stay tuned.  I always have a choice.

It’s maddening to try to understand why things happen when knowing (if I could know) doesn’t make a bit of difference.  People have feelings.  Relationships ebb and flow.  It doesn’t mean anyone is ‘wrong’.  When I am tuned into sprit, I feel love and appreciation.  I remember to love myself even in the dark times.

I am both a teacher and a student.

 

From my heart to yours,

 

Thanks for reading

 

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Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

I blamed my employment for stress and lack of time.  It turns out, I am capable of creating stress and running out of time no matter what I do for employment!  I have heard variations of the phrase ‘where attention goes, energy flows’ multiple times in multiple contexts.  I am experiencing how true that statement is first hand.

There are always two or more ways to look at any situation.  The first two are 1) the way I see it now and 2) the OPPOSITE of how I see it now.  In between, there are hundreds of more ways to see any situation if I take enough time to think about them.  My power lies in being able to choose which way I want to focus my energy on.

I am grateful for my fear because it serves to keep me safe.  It’s a warning light that says “hey, something is different here” but that is all it is.  Beyond acknowledging and being grateful for the warning, it doesn’t do me any good to think about fears.

In the major life transition I am experiencing now, I see I have the choice between thinking about how to prevent what I’m afraid of and thinking about how to create the life I want.  If I spend energy thinking about preventing catastrophe, I feel limited, smothered, anxious.  If I spend energy thinking about creating the life I want, taking steps in that direction, I feel light, energized, excited and free!  No one makes that choice for me.  I decide where my energy flows.

I am becoming much more picky about where I spend my energy these days.  I have a list of high priority items which include: peace, joy, satisfaction and purpose.  There are distractions from those things everywhere, all the time, but I don’t have to feed into them.  I can choose peace and joy at any time, no matter what is happening around me.  When I get off track, I remind myself of that fact and move on.  When I focus my efforts on being present and showing up, I am blown away by the opportunities that effortlessly fall into my lap.

My relationship with my son is improving because I am opening myself up to experience the world in his way instead of trying to make him fit into mine.  I can look at all the things he’s not, or I can cherish all the things he IS!  The latter is much more satisfying than the former.  In learning how to focus on his strengths, I am also learning to focus on mine.

I am learning how vitally important it is for me to take time to get quiet within.  It is only in the quiet moments that I can hear my inner most desires and identify what brings me joy.  The quiet moments give me clarity and remind me that all is well in my world now, in this moment.  I am safe and protected.  Life supports me!

From my heart to yours

Thanks for reading