Grieving Maya

The work of Maya Angelou changed my worldview in the darkest time of my life to date.  That woman lived life.  She experienced it, she felt it, she wrote about it.  Her work transcended gender, race and social economic status.  Her words will live on for decades to come.

In the wake of her death, I’m working on my undergrad in Behavioral Science.  I’m taken back to memories of what I typically refer to as “before”.  Before I woke up.  Before I allowed myself to be me.  Before I met my soul.

These days, I have given up on the idea that I have it all together.  I wake up each day, do my best, go to sleep, and repeat.  I have learned that some questions have no answers.  I have learned that time passes, life goes on and nothing lasts forever.  I choose to not feed fear about when the next “bad” thing may happen and instead, embrace the “now”.  I sometimes genuinely feel more than one conflicting emotion at the same time and that is okay.  There are no “good” or “bad” feelings, there are just feelings.

I’ve learned that no matter how skinny, how fast, how smart or how attractive one may be, it’s never enough to feel valuable.  Self worth comes from inside.  It is a matter of the heart.  It has nothing to do with marital status, pant size or pace.  If you have breath, you have value.  Period.

Thank you, Maya, for helping me start my journey.  I will cherish your words for the rest of my life.